


I Had To Do It On My Own

by MadnessofVoid



Series: tumblr works [12]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Angst with a Happy Ending, Band Fic, Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski Break Up, Excessive Drinking, Getting Back Together, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Light Angst, M/M, POV Derek Hale, Rehabilitation, Singer Stiles Stilinski, Techie Derek Hale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-11-06 22:51:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11045997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadnessofVoid/pseuds/MadnessofVoid
Summary: And really, Stiles swept Derek off his feet after that. The love bug bit him and bit him good. Sure, Stiles had a vice called whiskey, but he wasn’t too bad with the whole drinking thing. And he didn’t do it heavily around Derek because of how uncomfortable it made him. Things were amazing, to be honest.Then Theo, the new bassist, brought drugs into the mix.





	I Had To Do It On My Own

**Author's Note:**

> Fair warning again before I continue talking about this fic: there are mentions of drug use and heavy drinking. It does stop. There is rehab. But it is there and mentioned. Also, I don't know much about what can or can't happen during drug use, except from things I have heard, so there may be some not 100% accurateness. 
> 
> And with that...onto the rest of the notes!
> 
> This is another one of my tumblr fics that I'm permanently moving to here. It was based off a post on tumblr, and I decided to tackle it. Whether I did good or not is the question. ^^; I know this may not be everyone's cup of tea, I know it really isn't mine, but I wanted to try and grow as a fic writer, so...here it is. Possibly my only fic talking about this type of topic. Or not. I don't know just yet. Hope you enjoy. If not, welp, sorries and thanks for reading anyways! ^^;
> 
> Post: http://youfancymemaddearie.tumblr.com/post/138044678372/pale-silver-comb-stilesisderekslittlespoon 
> 
> PS: The little bit of a song I wrote? I know it sucks. I'm not a song writer. ;_;

Derek didn’t understand why he stuck around for so long. Why he kept watching this path of destruction. Why he didn’t leave sooner.

  
  


He loved Stiles.

  
  


He honest to god did.

  
  


What wasn’t there to love? Aside from Stiles’ looks and fame (which was the main reason anyone had ever wanted to sleep with the guy), he was smart, funny, a delight to be around, had a heart of gold (despite screaming to the heavens that he didn’t), and he loved dogs. The sex was pretty damn amazing, too. Derek was a stickler when it came to that, considering he had had some horrible experiences in the past. Almost settled for celibacy before being called by Lydia Martin, the tour manager, to come on as the audio tech for the band Dark Fox.

  
  


Derek couldn’t say no at the time. It was an honor! A high opportunity!

  
  


If he had known what was going to happen…

  
  


Stiles was great. He really was. And he immediately started flirting with Derek the second they met.

  
  


At first, Derek was uncomfortable and just ignored the guy. Stiles flirted with _everyone_. Liked to add notches to his bedpost. There was _no way_ Derek was going to be added to that notch.

  
  


Not to be swayed, Stiles persisted. Annoyingly so. However, with each rejection or eye roll, his flirting was growing more and more tame. Then, finally, he brought Derek flowers in his hotel room one night - asked for a proper date in the most timid way that Derek almost had a stroke as he stuttered a surprised yes.

 

And really, Stiles swept Derek off his feet after that. The love bug bit him and bit him good. Sure, Stiles had a vice called whiskey, but he wasn’t too bad with the whole drinking thing. And he didn’t do it heavily around Derek because of how uncomfortable it made him. Things were amazing, to be honest.

  
  


Then Theo, the new bassist, brought drugs into the mix.

  
  


At first, Stiles told Theo to fuck off. Came to Derek’s room, crying because the idea of drugs being used in the band scared him. Derek told him to kick Theo out and find someone else to play bass guitar. But before Stiles could…he fell. Fell deep. Theo took advantage of him when Stiles was drunk – tricked him to snort cocaine.

  
  


That’s when Derek noticed the changes in his boyfriend.

  
  


When Stiles was using, he became aggressive. He chased it down with whiskey and it made him flirt with anything that had legs. He even tried to hump someone once. He began having outbursts that were just destructive. Sometimes…he even forgot who he was. There were even times he came crying to Derek, utterly inconsolable, begging for cuddles. And the sex, as rough and intense as they got when he used…it was…it felt _wrong_. Like Derek was taking advantage of someone who wasn’t all there.

  
  


Five weeks.

  
  


Five weeks on this new tour after four months of Stiles’ new habit.

  
  


That’s how long it took for Derek to finally give up.

  
  


He had already told Lydia and Scott he was leaving. Hell, he even told Stiles’ _dad_.

  
  


Now…he had to tell _Stiles_.

  
  


Derek slipped into the hotel room where Stiles was staying, horrified by what he saw. Stiles…Stiles was _strung out_. He was dancing with horrible dubstep music, a bottle of whiskey in his hold, and making the other druggies that came with this new habit laugh like hyenas. They didn’t care that Stiles was on a table and could hurt himself. Didn’t care about him at all. They _never_ did.

  
  


Took everything in Derek's power to not punch every last one of them.

  
  


Especially Theo.

  
  


“'Ey! Ish Derek!” Stiles slurred when he caught sight of him. He stepped off the table, swaying and nearly falling. “How my booooooo? Hmmm? Wanna have seeeex? Oh god…I wanna. Do you wanna? ‘Course you do!” He took Derek’s hand, tugging at it roughly with a drug-booze hunger in his eyes. “C'mon! Ride me!”

  
  


This was going to hurt. Who more, Derek had no idea. He was no judge. Had no right to be.

  
  


He tore his hand away from Stiles, resisting the urge to hold his arms out just in case the strung out man actually fell over. Stiles looked like he had been smacked. Confused and maybe a little angry.

  
  


“Wha was tha fo?” Stiles swayed, setting his bottle down and brows furrowing. “Deeeeer?”

  
  


This was it. No turning back now…

  
  


“Stiles…I love you.” Derek said with all the strength he could muster.

  
  


The other man beamed, like he was just given the stars, and his shoulders slacked. “I love you, too! Oh my god…you askin’ meh to marry you?”

  
  


Derek shook his head, throat tightening. “No, Stiles. I…I’m here to tell you that I’m leaving.”

  
  


The face Stiles made was one Derek had never seen before. It may have been worse because he was high and wasted. But all the same…it tore out Derek’s heart and shattered it like glass tossed from the top of a building.

  
  


Stiles…his expression fell. Contorted into something that said someone had just had the world pulled right out from under their feet. Someone who had lost everything and was doing everything they could to not cry. Agony, confusion, betrayal, desperation, sadness…

  
  


“What…what do you mean?” he asked meekly, suddenly sober.

  
  


He took a step forward, eyes widening when he saw Derek take a step away from his advances. Stiles stood there, words escaping him. His breathing was running ragged – loud enough to drown the music. Sensing his distress, Theo turned off the music with a smug look. Like he _wanted_ this to happen. Like this was a show.

  
  


If Derek got the chance, he was going to punch the lights out of that bastard.

  
  


It was his fault this was all happening in the first place!

  
  


Stiles bounced his hands, his doe eyes watering. “Derek…you…you just said you loved me. You…you can’t leave…you can’t leave me!”

  
  


The desperation in Stiles’ voice…it was like the sound of a wailing infant in distress.

  
  


Derek swallowed, taking another step away. “I do love you. But…I can’t…I can’t do this!”

  
  


“What…what can’t you do?” Stiles surged forward, grabbing at Derek before he could run. His eyes were wild and afraid. He reeked of booze. “Is it the tour? We can stop it and take a break! Is it…is it the music? We can change it! O-or I can leave! Just say the word and I’ll stop! I’ll quit music and go where you want me to! Please Derek…you can’t…don’t leave me…”

  
  


“It’s not the music, Stiles! It’s the booze and the cocaine! I _cannot_ and _will not_ stay any longer! You _need_ help. You need to get clean. But you won’t. I _know_ you won’t. You’re too prideful to see it as a problem. And Theo poisoned you.” Derek wretched Stiles’ hands away, scowling deeply to prove his point. “As long as you are drinking, doing cocaine, or any other drug because god only knows if Theo got you into anything else because he is a snake, and _he_ is still here in the band…I won’t be. I love you…which is why I’m leaving. I can’t see you like this. Can’t see you like…like…Theo’s toy.”

  
  


“He’s not my toy.” Theo snorted, looking pleased with all of this. “More like my best friend. And if you’re leaving…guess I’ll have him all to myself. I bet I’m much better in bed than you.”

  
  


“Fuck you, Theo!” Derek shoved Stiles away. Harshly. He pointed at the man with an accusatory finger, his own eyes full of unshed tears. “And you know what? Fuck you too, Stiles. You deserve that bastard if you are going to be this stupid.”

  
  


“D-Derek…” Stiles started, choking on his pouring tears.

  
  


There was no chance for him to say anything else. Derek stormed out of the room, shouting, “Enjoy your party! Enjoy all the sex! Lydia has my resignation papers!” and never looked back…

  
  


**~+~**

  
  


It wasn’t that Derek was _stalking_ the progress of Stiles and Dark Fox through many social media and TV show sources. He was just… _worried_.

  
  


It had been months since he stormed out. Since he left Stiles behind.

  
  


The band was still touring. Still had the same members. Stiles was looking worse and worse with each new release of pictures from the tour. He seemed strung out all the time. Like he couldn’t function without drowning himself in whiskey, cocaine, and whatever else he may be on.

  
  


Made Derek want to throw up…

  
  


So did the texts and voice mails that came flooding in after week three of his departure. All of them so heartbreaking…

  
  


“You need to move on, Der.” his sister Laura said after the third month. “He wasn’t good for you if he was so easily swayed.”

  
  


“He was tricked!” he corrected bitterly. “He was so scared about drugs even being in the band…”

  
  


Laura was nice to drop it and buy him a carton of his favorite ice cream that day. And she never brought up again, too.

  
  


At least…until the months turned into half a year.

  
  


She came bursting through his bedroom door while he was checking his sound equipment for the DJ booth (he was doing a gig for a school dance later that night), eyes wide and mouth agape. He hadn’t seen her look so freaked out since Derek got her tickets for Duran Duran’s comeback tour. He sat there, hands hovering over his equipment, waiting for her to tell him what was going on.

  
  


It took her a few minutes to find her voice.

  
  


“Der…you need to come see this. It’s…it’s about Stiles…”

  
  


Nothing else needed to be said. Derek scrambled to his feet, following after his big sister. She lead him to the living room where the show that was on was paused. Seemed as if she rewound it so Derek could see what was going on. She glanced at him, showing general concern for him to even see what was about to play. He nodded, telling her silently that he was going to be okay. With a sigh, she pressed play, and a known woman in the media industry, specialized only in talking about music and bands, began to talk.

  
  


“ _Video has been released of the disastrous concert that lead to the cancellation of Dark Fox’s tour .”_

  
  


What? Their tour had been canceled?! How did Derek not know?! Had he missed it somehow?

  
  


“ _Lead vocalist Stiles Stilinski_ (Derek’s body ran cold with the picture they chose to flash on screen. It was when he was healthier. Two weeks after Derek first met him, to be exact.) _had an onstage meltdown almost two months after Dark Fox’s sound technician, and former boyfriend of Stiles, Derek Hale_ (Of course they chose the picture of Stiles and Derek walking hand-in-hand at the MTV Music Awards. It was the happiest they both had been in ages…) _had left the tour due to what appears to be worry and intolerance to the bad habits picked up by our sweet, sweet Stiles. It was bad enough that Dark Fox’s manager, Lydia Martin, kept it a secret about the tour being canceled, but when she threatened to sue anyone that leaked any video evidence of Stiles’ meltdown…needless to say the dark secrets surrounding the band were likely to remain that. A dark secret.”_

  
  


Derek sat down on the couch, his heart thundering.

  
  


Almost _two months_ after he had left? Did that mean that everything he had seen about the band the months past then had been a lie? A cover-up by Lydia? Made sense. Lydia was overprotective of those band members. She grew up with Stiles and Scott, the lead guitarist, and Allison, the drummer, was her girlfriend. Not to mention she adored Kira, the other guitarist, so much that there were rumors that she was having a threesome with Allison and Kira. (Unless Scott was into that, there was no way that was true.) In fact, she had tried to kick Theo out countless times after he got Stiles hooked on drugs. But she bit her tongue when Stiles, in one of his fits, threatened to fire her.

  
  


If she had to hide for half a year an outburst Stiles had on stage that was bad enough to cancel a tour…it had to have been awful.

  
  


“ _Our sources say that Lydia Martin herself has decided to come clean about why she had tried to keep everything hush-hush. She has also stated that bassist Theo Raeken is no longer in the band. Saying he was the cancer that started the whirlwind downfall of Stiles Stilinski.”_

  
  


Derek let out a breath of relief. Theo was out of the band. Stiles was going to be safe from that asshole. Hopefully getting sued out the ass, if he knew Lydia well enough. (And he did. He remembered the death threats he received once it went public that he was seeing Stiles romantically.)

  
  


“ _But before we get to that…we will show the video. I have to warn you…it may be disturbing to some viewers. If you are easily upset, I suggest you don’t watch this heartbreaking footage.”_

  
  


He held his breath, clenching his hands tightly together. Waiting in anticipation.

  
  


When the video started…it sucked the life right out of him.

  
  


Whoever recorded this was real close. Barely inches away. Probably could smell the sweat coming off the band members.

  
  


Stiles was there, holding the mic like he always did – off the stand and dragging the cord with him all across the stage. He didn’t look happy. In fact…he seemed worn down. Beaten by something. His eyes were sunken and his skin was paler than usual. He lost weight, too.

  
  


“ _So this next song…”_ Stiles cleared his throat, already choking back tears. “ _This next song is a number you all know. It’s called Howl. Was Derek’s favorite…”_

  
  


The crowd cheered, but it was more awkward than energized. As if they knew something was coming. Scott and Kira exchanged worried glances. Glances that said that wasn’t in the original line-up. Theo just looked miffed by the song choice. Allison worked at her lower lip, shaking her head almost frantically. Like she knew this would be a disaster if they played.

  
  


Allison had always been incredibly smart…

  
  


But nothing stopped Stiles. He set the mic back on its stand, cupping it and pressing his lips dangerously close. He closed his eyes, something normal when he performed this particular song, and swayed slowly.

  
  


“ _Daggers in my mouth…poison in my veins…”_

  
  


Stiles rested his head on the mic, his body visibly shaking in the footage. The band members were all stealing glances, playing slower than usual for this haunting song. Even the audience were murmuring their concerns. Asking if Stiles was going to be okay instead of cheering like normal.

  
  


Theo was the only one not showing worry.

  
  


Of course. The bastard.

  
  


Stiles exhaled slowly, raising his head, eyes zoned out. “ _I hunger…I hunger for you…”_ He cleared his throat, shaking his head out of whatever trance he was in. “ _I hunger…I hunger for you…”_

  
  


His sniffling was audible. He started shaking again, this time worse. Theo, with a heavy sigh, walked up to the mic they had off to the side just case Stiles had wanted the bassist to join  Kira and him in vocals. That made Scott stop playing altogether, big browns wide with horror. He advanced forward, attempting to stop Theo with whatever he was going to do.

  
  


Scott didn’t make it before Theo started singing, “ _So I’ll howl at the moon. Howl till you come home to me, to me.”_

  
  


And that’s when shit went down.

  
  


Stiles screamed, picking up his mic stand and throwing it right at Theo. Barely nicked the guy. Still knocked the bastard to the ground out of shock, though. Stiles continued to scream. Scream like some kind of wild man. He picked up his water bottle, throwing it at Theo as well. In fact, everything he could get his hands on…it all went to Theo.

  
  


The crowd was screaming, begging Stiles to stop. So were his bandmates. Scott even tried to get a hold of Stiles, only to get punched in the face and have his guitar torn from him, then smashed repeatedly on the stage.

  
  


Once it was in pieces, he chucked them at Theo, screaming at him, “ _You don’t sing that! You don’t_ _ **ever**_ _sing that! That’s_ _ **Derek’s**_ _song!_ _ **Derek’s**_ _song!_ _ **My**_ _Derek’s song! You don’t get to sing it!_ _ **NO ONE**_ _GETS TO SING IT!_ _ **NOBODY**_ _! SO FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU SO HARD! IT’S ALL_ _ **YOUR**_ _FAULT!”_

  
  


Then, Stiles dropped into a ball on the stage, sobbing so loud that it could be heard echoing off the mics now too far from him. He covered his face, quivering like a frightened mouse.

  
  


The crowd fell silent, watching in horror. Scott managed to recover from the punch’s blow and raced to Stiles. Kira was right behind him. Allison was standing up at her drum-set, covering her mouth and sobbing. Theo was just sitting there, looking like he had been vandalized. Which earned him a fist in the mouth from Kira. Followed by her swearing in Japanese at him. (Guess someone finally taught her. Though Derek personally thought that her mother should have taught her in the first place.)

  
  


“ _Stiles? Stiles?! You okay?”!_ Scott’s voice was heard on the audio of the video.

  
  


He assisted Stiles in sitting up, rubbing his back and holding him with a vice grip. Stiles didn’t answer for some time, wailing like a ghost and thrashing about in an attempt to escape. Allison was able to gather her composure, joining Scott in holding Stiles. Except hers was more maternal, which Stiles reacted to much better than Scott trying to force him down. Stiles leaned into Allison, covering his face again and hiccuping loudly.

  
  


“ _I miss him…”_ his voice came almost too quiet for the audio of whatever device was recording this to pick it up. “ _I miss him so much…”_

  
  


The video continued. It mostly contained Lydia rushing onto the stage, dragging Kira away from a cowering Theo, and apologizing to all that were attending.

  
  


But Derek wasn’t paying attention to that.

  
  


His mind was racing. Replaying the words Stiles had said.

  
  


“ _Was Derek’s favorite…”_

  
  


“ _That’s_ _ **Derek’s**_ _song!_ _ **Derek’s**_ _song!_ _ **My**_ _Derek’s song!”_

  
  


“ _I miss him…I miss him so much…”_

  
  


With a dry mouth and a heavy heart, Derek got to his feet and turned to his sister. Calls. He had phone calls to make. So many phone calls. Stiles would be the first right after he canceled his gig.

  
  


“Go.” Laura whispered, smiling sadly.

  
  


He nodded, hurrying to his room to have peace and quiet.

  
  


**~+~**

  
  


Stiles didn’t answer when he called. It hurt to hear the recording Stiles had on his phone since Derek first met him.

  
  


“ _Hiya! This is musical-not-so-prodigy Stiles Stilinski here! Sorry I missed your call! But if you leave a cute little voice message, I’ll get back to you as soon as I can! Later!”_

  
  


Derek forced a lump down his throat, clenching his eyes tight as he heard the beep. Might as well leave a message. If Stiles never called back…he deserved it. He never answered or called Stiles back, after all…

  
  


“Stiles…it’s…it’s Derek. I saw the video of your last concert. What happened? Are you okay? I’m…worried. Always have been worried. Just…please call. I need to know if you’re okay. I love you…”

  
  


He hung up, taking in shallow breaths. His chest ached and his mind buzzed. It took him a few minutes, but he decided he couldn't wait for Stiles to call back. If he was going to ever call back. So he called Scott. If anyone knew what going on with Stiles, it was Scott.

  
  


When Scott answered, he sounded like he had just woken up. Derek felt a little guilty, but he was on a mission. He wasn’t going to give up until he had answers.

  
  


“'Lo?”

  
  


“Scott…it’s Derek.”

  
  


“Derek? Hey man, how are ya? What have you been up to since you left?”

  
  


“Been in the DJ business, mostly.”

  
  


“Oh wow. That’s neat. I bet Lydia wrote you an awesome reference.”

  
  


“She did. She definitely did. Listen…did you hear about the video of your last concert being shown?”

  
  


“Yeah, man. Hated reliving it. Kira actually sat down and cried for an hour. Or felt like an hour. She’s happy that Theo wasn’t able to sue her for assault. He didn’t have the money to hire a lawyer after the lawsuit Lydia threw at him. And the countless drug possession charges he was slammed with. Apparently he was dealing them, too. And he almost made Stiles OD four nights before the concert. We think that’s what he was planning from the start. Don’t know why but…Lydia is trying to press attempted murder charges, too. Don’t think it will happen but…he’s still going away from a while…”

  
  


Derek had to resist the urge to hang up, hunt Theo down, and beat him to death. Instead, he exhaled slowly and nodded, though he knew the younger man couldn’t see him.

  
  


“Where is Stiles? Is he okay?”

  
  


“I wish I could tell you. I haven’t heard from him in months. You’ll have to talk to Lydia. She might know. No, scratch that. She _definitely_ knows. But she’s being secretive about it. All I know is she is trying to help him. I hope it works…”

  
  


After Derek’s call with Scott finished, he wasted no time in calling Lydia.

  
  


She answered on the second ring.

  
  


“You saw that video, huh?”

  
  


Derek winced, feeling her ice cold eyes on him in spirit. “Y-yes, ma'am…”

  
  


“And you want to know if Stiles is okay, don’t you?”

  
  


“Y-yes, ma'am.”

  
  


Lydia clicked her tongue. “Of course you do. Sadly, I can’t tell you anything. You’ll have to call his father.”

  
  


She ended the call right there, leaving Derek confused and terrified.

  
  


But he did call Stiles’ father.

  
  


And the reception was much warmer than Lydia’s.

  
  


“Derek? Haven’t heard from you in a while. How you been, son?”

  
  


“Good, sir. And you?”

  
  


“I’m still kicking. Guess that’s a good thing, right?”

  
  


“Yes, sir. I would think so.”

  
  


“You calling about Stiles?”

  
  


“I am, sir.”

  
  


“Uh-huh. I can’t tell you too much, Derek. It’s not my place.”

  
  


Derek felt his heart sink in his chest. After all this…he wasn’t going to get answers?

  
  


“But I can tell you this: 163 Wolf Riding Way Beacon Hills, California. Apartment 3B. And son? Don’t mess this up.”

  
  


The call with Stiles’ father was more confusing than the call with Lydia. But Derek had an address. A location to where Stiles was. That was a start. It was _something_. A hope. And he was going to hang onto it.

  
  


He was going to get answers.

  
  


And he was going to get them from Stiles.

  
  


**~+~**

  
  


163 Wolf Riding Way Beacon Hills, California ended up being Firefly Rehab Clinic For Addiction Recovery.

  
  


Derek sat there at the front gate, unable to pull his car inside the compound. A rehab clinic. Stiles was in a rehab clinic…

  
  


Had been for a while now.

  
  


Derek marveled almost instantly at how Lydia and Mr. Stilinski kept this so quiet that not even the tabloids caught wind of it. Made his chest swell with pride and appreciation. It was good to know that Stiles had people that cared and loved him enough to stick around instead of running away. Like he had...

  
  


He mustered enough courage to pull his car through the open gate, driving around a bit to find a spot to park. Once he parked, he fast walked up to the front doors, ignoring how impressive this place was. He saw a woman with sable coloration from head to toe (minus her hair – that was pure ebony), with massive scars, mostly lingering on her neck, sitting at the front desk. She appeared bored, eyes fixated on a motorcycle magazine.

  
  


But she at least acknowledged his presence. Even if she didn’t look up at him.

  
  


“Your name, name of the person you’re visiting, and their apartment number?” she rattled off, a strong sense of authority to her voice.

  
  


Derek tensed, considering turning around and leaving. Stiles wouldn’t want to see him anyways, would he? The video replayed in his mind – throwing away any doubts of Stiles _not_ wanting to see him.

  
  


“Derek Hale. I’m here to see Stiles Stilinski. He’s in 3B, I think.”

  
  


The woman lifted her head, her eyes lighting up. She smirked, leaning back in her seat enough to straighten out her uniform, which revealed a name. Braeden.

  
  


“Derek Hale, huh? _The_ Derek Hale?”

  
  


“Um…yes?”

  
  


The woman, Braeden, nodded. “Stiles doesn’t shut up about you. Says the minute his treatment is over, he’s going to hunt you down, and apologize and grovel until you take him back. Boy, is he going to be surprised to see you here.”

  
  


“I-I’m surprised to see me here, too.”

  
  


Braeden pointed towards an elevator, her smirk never leaving. “Take that elevator to floor B. Stiles’ apartment is the second one on the right. Knock to get his attention. The doorbell system drives him up the wall.”

  
  


Derek nodded, eagerly turning heel and darting towards the elevator.

  
  


It turned out to be the longest elevator ride in existence. Fuck you too, universe.

  
  


The very second those doors opened again, Derek ran out, making his way down the hall. It didn’t take too long for him to find 3B and raise his hand to knock.

  
  


Only he didn’t knock.

  
  


He froze. He began to wonder if he should be here. If he would like what he saw. If he would feel sick instead. If Stiles would be furious to see him and kick him out. Demanding to never show his face to him ever again.

  
  


His arm trembled, feeling the weight of all this in its bones. Finally, he made a decision.

  
  


He knocked.

  
  


Took a minute or two, but Derek heard shuffling from behind the door. Then the click of a lock being unlocked. His heart began to pound. Anxiety rose in his chest. 

  
  


When the door opened he…he saw Stiles looking the healthiest he had seen him in a long time. Color was coming back to his cheeks. His eyes were no longer sinking in and the whiskey swirls were positively glowing. His hair was clean and shining with health.

  
  


And his lips were curved in the brightest smile the world’s light could offer.

  
  


“Derek…”

  
  


He couldn’t get a hello out before Stiles slammed into him for a massive bear hug. It nearly knocked Derek off his feet. He was so surprised by this that it took him a moment to realize that Stiles was crying. His chest tightened, arms wrapping protectively over his former boyfriend.

  
  


“I thought you never wanted to see me again…” Stiles sniffed. “You didn’t answer my texts…my calls…”

  
  


“I…I didn’t want to be involved with the drinking…the cocaine…any of the drugs…” Derek admitted with shame.

  
  


“No man…I know. I know. I’m glad you got away. It wasn’t pretty…” Stiles pulled away, wiping at his eyes. He was still smiling. “You wanna come in?”

  
  


Derek didn’t get to answer before he was tugged into the room. He could of easily fought off Stiles and not go inside, but he didn’t want to. He missed him. Missed him _so much_. And he had been so worried…

  
  


“Why didn’t you tell me?” were the first words out of Derek’s mouth once Stiles had shut the door behind them. “Why didn’t you tell me that you were going to rehab?”

  
  


Stiles’ face fell. It appeared as if this was not something he wanted to talk about. His gaze fixated on the floor, a particular stain that must have come from the previous occupant. He toed at it, exhaling through his nose deeply.

  
  


“I had to do this on my own…” he answered quietly.

  
  


Derek understood. He didn’t need any other explanation than that.

  
  


“I wanted to see you when I was fully clean…”

  
  


“You’re not fully clean?”

  
  


“The coke I am. Shockingly. The drinking…still working on it. I’ve had relapses on that…”

  
  


“How did you quit the cocaine?”

  
  


“It was surprisingly easy. All I kept thinking about was how it hurt you…how it hurt everyone when I used. I didn’t want to hurt my friends and my dad anymore…”

  
  


Derek nodded, smiling gently. He was so proud. How could he not be? Stiles was at least _trying_ to clean up. Trying to make up from what he did. How could Derek _not_ be proud?

  
  


“I lied. I got off the cocaine for good about a month ago. Withdrawals were a bitch.”

  
  


The joking tone made Derek feel at ease. That was more of the Stiles he had fallen in love with.

  
  


“So I’ve heard.”

  
  


“Never do drugs, Der.”

  
  


“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

  
  


“It fucks up everything.”

  
  


“I know.”

  
  


“It fucked up me. Fucked up _us_.”

  
  


He didn’t know what to say to that. So he stared sadly, longingly. Stiles did the same.

  
  


“Do you…could you…will we ever work again? I mean, I know we can’t have exactly what we did before…all this. But…I missed you. I missed you so much…”

  
  


“I know…” Derek cleared his throat, adverting his line of sight. “I saw the video of your last concert…”

  
  


Stiles sucked in a hiss, flinching and making an overly exaggerated expression. “Not one of my best moments.”

  
  


“No. No it wasn’t.”

  
  


“At least Kira got a good swing at him. 'Cause I apparently wasn’t able to aim worth shit.”

  
  


“I wanted to punch him myself.”

  
  


“Maybe when he gets out of jail you can.”

  
  


“I won’t wait that long. By then, I hope we have moved on from that.”

  
  


“Would be nice…”

  
  


Derek returned his gaze to Stiles, who was staring right into his soul. He swallowed, clenching his fists hard enough to turn the knuckles white.

  
  


“I missed you, too. Worried about you for months. And…I wouldn’t mind if we gave this another try. But the minute you use again -”

  
  


“Please kick my ass clear into oblivion if I do. Please kick anyone’s ass if they even _offer_ me anything.”

  
  


“I can do that.”

  
  


“Good.”

  
  


They stood in silence – words not working. Normally, Stiles would be talking Derek’s ear off. But he figured that, for this moment in time, it wouldn’t do them any good. It was too fresh in their minds what had happened.

  
  


“Um…” Stiles waved towards one ugly looking couch, grinning sheepishly and blushing. “Have a seat? We can…talk or…something. I don’t know what exes do when they’re trying to rekindle a relationship. Other than say I’m sorry. I’m so, _so_ sorry.”

  
  


Derek chuckled, shaking his head and taking Stiles’ hand. “Me, too. Sorry, that is.”

  
  


“You don’t have anything to be sorry about it…”

  
  


“I do. Maybe if I stuck around…you could have come here sooner…”

  
  


“Don’t think so but…details.”

  
  


They sat down, making sure to keep close together.

  
  


Conversation flowed back to them with ease, with Stiles doing most of the talking. The spark between them flickered and glowed. Maybe not in the same way it had been before. Maybe not with the same intensity. But it was theirs. That’s all that mattered.

  
  


**~+~**

  
  


He loved Stiles.

  
  


He honest to god did.

  
  


What wasn’t there to love? Aside from Stiles’ looks and fame (which was the main reason anyone had ever wanted to sleep with the guy), he was smart, funny, a delight to be around, had a heart of gold despite screaming to the heavens that he didn’t, and he loved dogs. The sex was pretty damn amazing, too. And even though Derek only really got to go visit Stiles at the rehab clinic mostly on Sundays, it was worth it to see Stiles lighting up the world with his smile.

  
  


It was a rough road. Full of bumps, harsh words, and relapses. Fortunately it was with the drinking and not the drugs. But it was still bad that it happened, regardless.

  
  


There were times Stiles seemed ready to give up. Ready to throw in the towel and allow himself to spiral downwards all over again. But Derek was there. Was there to hold his hand and give him a good swift kick to the ass when he even so much dared to look at booze.

  
  


It was challenging. It was rocky. But there were always good times to overshadow the bad. And when Stiles was finally allowed to fully check out of rehab…it was clear that the weight of his actions and the world were lifted off his shoulders. His father invited Derek and Laura, as well as his bandmates and Lydia, over to the house to celebrate his release and recovery.

  
  


They had soda and water instead of liquor.

  
  


Lydia began plans for a new tour, warning Stiles that if he slipped up she would kick him out and find a new lead vocalist. Everyone, especially Stiles, found that to be more than acceptable terms.

  
  


He almost slipped up.

  
  


Someone from the days when Theo held influence had come by to visit Stiles in his new place with Derek. Offered a big celebration for checking out of rehab. He hesitated for only a few seconds before telling this person to fuck off and never bother him again. Said that if they person so much has breathed in his general direction, he would permit his boyfriend to beat their ass before calling the cops.

  
  


“I almost wanted to…” Stiles admitted. “But I don’t want you to beat my ass in. I’ve seen those muscles. You could crush me with your pinky!”

  
  


Derek rolled his eyes, knowing that was Stiles’ way of saying “ _I don’t want to go back down that road because I would destroy everyone again…”_

  
  


After a year of rough patches and complete sobriety, a new tour was done for Dark Fox. 

 

Everyone who had purchased tickets for their last tour were reimbursed and were given free tickets.

  
  


Stiles’ first song of the first night was Howl.

  
  


Followed by inviting Derek on the stage so he could propose.

  
  


And Derek, despite everything that had happened, said yes.

  
  


He loved Stiles.

  
  


He honest to god did.

  
  


What wasn’t there to love?

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk Sterek with me!
> 
> youfancymemaddearie.tumblr.com


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